So most of you know that children and I just don't get along. I've said since I was about 10 years old that I didn't want kids, and I have been lucky enough to find a husband that is like-minded. Some people were made for parenthood, and I am happy for those people when they finally have the kids they've been wanting; I am simply not one of those people. And then there are the people who are parents, just not good ones. But that particular thing is not really what this is about.
Trace and I were in the mall the other day, and there was a kid (a little girl, I believe) in the play area screaming just as high-pitched and loudly as her little lungs could. We couldn't even hear each other talk. So finally, as we were walking into the store where we were headed, and the girl let out another bloodcurdling peal, Trace finally snapped and yelled "Shut up!" at no one in particular. He didn't yell it at the girl or the girl's parents (who I assume were there, just not controlling their offspring).
I kind of said, "SHH!" but I'll admit, I was laughing just because I was taken aback by his outburst. (He later told me "Sorry. I kind of snapped." But I'll come back to that.) Anyway, this woman who was in the store of course heard us and was kind of laughing, too. Trace or I (not sure anymore who) made some comment, I think about how an otherwise quiet wing of the mall, next to a restaurant, was a silly place to have a playland.
Now, here's my main complaint: This woman, who neither of us knew, goes, "Oh, just wait till you have kids."
She and Trace said a few more things (I won't go into details), and we went on our way. Yes, he snapped. But after I thought about it, I decided it was right that he snapped. How did this woman know that we didn't already have children? For all she knew, we weren't ABLE to have children. She didn't know. That's the problem. I have defended Trace's and my decision to not have kids to dozens of people. Most of them more than once, sadly. To people at church, work, home, some friends, even, people who INSIST that once we're in our 30s we'll change our minds....Truthfully, it gets exhausting. And this woman just assumes that we'll have kids just because we're married. HELL, I don't even think she knew we WERE married. Yet she assumed. Because that's what people do. Boys and girls are supposed to grow up, settle down, get married, and have kids. Well, what the heck's wrong with just settling down, getting married, and stopping???
I hate that I live in a place (world, town, society, whatever) where everyone assumes that everyone wants the same things. I LOVE my life. I LOVE it. Yes, we've gone through some tough things, and yes, things don't always go as planned. But why "fix" with what's not broken? Why is it SO horrible that I'm satsified and HAPPY without having kids? Why is this such a tragedy? If a Catholic priest can give us the OK and marry us with the knowledge that we never intend to have a baby, everyone else ought to be able to handle it.
OK, if you are still reading, I'm not sure why. I know that this was really long. Just had to get it out of my system. Back to work!
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