March 25, 2008: A Good Day to Work in a Newsroom (or, Planning My Vacation)

From TSA.gov’s prohibited/allowed items section: [Emphasis is mine]

"To ensure the health and welfare of certain air travelers, in the absence of suspicious activity or items, GREATER THAN 3 OUNCES of the following liquids, gels and aerosols are permitted through the security checkpoint in reasonable quantities for the duration of your itinerary (all exceptions must be presented to the security officer in front of the checkpoint):

Baby formula, breast milk, and juice
All prescription and over-the-counter medications (liquids, gels, and aerosols) including KY JELLY , eye drops, and saline solution for medical purposes;

Liquids including water, juice, or liquid nutrition or gels for passengers with a disability or medical condition;Liquids including water, juice, or liquid nutrition or gels for passengers with a disability or medical condition;

Life-support and life-sustaining liquids such as bone marrow, blood products, and transplant organs;

Items used to augment the body for medical or cosmetic reasons such as mastectomy products, prosthetic breasts, bras or shells containing gels, saline solution, or other liquids; and,

Gels or frozen liquids needed to cool disability or medically related items used by persons with disabilities or medical conditions.


You are allowed reasonable amounts over 3 ounces of the items above in your carry-on baggage, but you will need to perform the following:

Separate these items from the liquids, gels, and aerosols in your quart-size and zip-top bag.
Declare you have the items to one of our Security Officers at the security checkpoint.
Present these items for additional inspection once reaching the X-ray. These items are subject to additional screening.


What the hell? I can’t take a full-size tube of toothpaste, but any Mile-High Member wannabe can take... um.... something to make the job easier in one of those tiny bathrooms?


And does KY REALLY belong in the same category with bone marrow and transplant organs???? (Insert joke here. Uh, and here, I guess.)
I think I’m gonna buy, like, the most giant bottle (maybe one from Sam’s Club?) and just see if they’ll try to stop me. I’ll be all like, "I’m goin’ ta Vegas, baby!" Maybe see if that’s a viable excuse....